Shana Galen Explains "Why Pirates Make the Worst Best Book Boyfriends"

Why Pirates Make the Worst Best Book Boyfriends

By Shana Galen

 If you’re out there looking for a book boyfriend, there are lots to choose from. You have your paranormal boys—werewolves, shapeshifters, vampires, angels and demons, and everything in-between. You have your contemporary heroes—sports stars, cops, Navy SEALS, DIY handymen, and bad boy bikers. And of course you have the peerage from the historical set—dukes, viscounts, bastard royal offspring, and the occasional spy or muscled, sweaty horse breeder. But I guarantee you that whatever book boyfriend you choose to curl up with tonight, if you want to catch some Zs, the worst choice you could make is a pirate.

1) Clothing

If you’re snuggling with a duke, chances are he’s wearing a tail coat and tight breeches. Those ex-military types usually wear combat trousers and go commando, and vampires wear…capes?  But a pirate? Imagine him in scuffed, black leather boots all the way to his knees. Those boots thump with authority as he walks the decks and hug his shapely calves until the leather ends, revealing muscled thighs encased in tight buckskin. A billowing white shirt, open at the chest, is plastered by the wind to his sculpted chest, the whiteness unbroken only by the handle of the cutlass tucked in one side of his belt and the silver inlaid handle of the pistol on the other. His hair is longer than acceptable and carelessly held back by a leather cord. His skin is burnished by sun and wind, and his eyes are the color of a stormy sea. Choose a pirate as a book boyfriend, and you won’t be getting any sleep.

2) Setting

And let’s consider where pirates reside. Cramped ships’ quarters where a girl would constantly be forced to brush against that pirate’s hard body. He might even confine his woman to his opulent captain’s cabin, which is, of course, appointed with silk sheets, a full library, and an abundance of hot water for long, luxurious baths. If that isn’t bad enough, pirate ships make frequent stops at tropical islands with white sandy beaches, coconuts and rum, and clear pools with waterfalls where pirates might attempt to take advantage of the lack of chaperone. How will you sleep with the sound of waves crashing on the beach, the sweet tropical breeze caressing your skin, and the twinkling stars overhead?

3) Shipboard Life

Let’s chat more about those stars. Chances are if you look out your window at night, you’ll see half a dozen stars. Some of those might be satellites, but who can tell, right? The city lights block out most of the stars, but that isn’t the case in the middle of the ocean on a pirate ship. If you’re looking to get a good eight hours of sleep, don’t choose a pirate. He’s likely to drag the heroine onto the deck (or the crow’s nest) and make love under that canopy of twinkling stars all night long.  Beautiful? Romantic? Yes. Good for sleep? No.

4) Attitude

Dukes have a duty to the title. Navy SEALS have their honor. Vampires have their lust for blood. But pirates? Pirates are the wayward black sheep of the hero family. They don’t answer to anyone. Pirates are fiercely independent. They don’t follow rules or laws, except their own. There’s one way to do things: the pirate way. And if his woman doesn’t like it, the captain might just confine her to those luxurious quarters again. And have his way with her. Shudder. There’s no chance of sleep with a pirate book boyfriend.

5) Treasure

The worst thing about pirates is how they’re relentlessly searching for something—revenge, gold doubloons, sparkling jewels… Pirates are always on the hunt for booty. They have maps where X marks the spot and chests full of enough riches that a girl could drape herself in rubies and pearls. A pirate is a dangerous book boyfriend.

If you’re still not convinced that you should stay away from pirates as book boyfriends, might I suggest a pirate hero who’s likely to show you just how good—I mean, bad—can be? Nick Martingale is the captain of the Robin Hood. Not only is he a pirate captain, he’s the younger brother of a marquess, which makes him Lord Nicholas. Titled and a pirate? Lethal combination. He’s also incredibly sexy, rich, and might just be hiding a sweet nature under that charming, roguish exterior. Feeling a little daring? Want to give Nick a try as your book boyfriend? One person who tells me their favorite pirate in  literature or film will win a print copy of The Pirate Takes a Bride (U.S. and Canada only).

The Pirate Takes a Bride

Ashley Brittany is living a nightmare. She's been mistakenly married to the one man she despises. Months ago, Lord Nicholas took her virtue then scorned her. Now, Ashley will do anything to have her revenge . . . anything but expose her ugly secret.
Nick Martingale has a secret, too: he's Captain Robin Hood, a pirate with a fearsome reputation. But when Nick learns his archenemy, the Barbary pirate Yussef, attacked innocents Nick has sworn to protect, he can think of nothing but vengeance.
Only one person stands in his way.
His wife.

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Shana Galen is the bestselling author of fast-paced adventurous Regency historicals, including the RT Reviewers' Choice The Making of a Gentleman. Booklist says, "Galen expertly entwines espionage-flavored intrigue with sizzling passion," and RT Bookreviews calls her "a grand mistress of the action/adventure subgenre." She taught English at the middle and high school level off and on for eleven years. Most of those years were spent working in Houston's inner city. Now she writes full time. She's happily married and has a daughter who is most definitely a romance heroine in the making. Shana loves to hear from readers, so send her an email or see what she's up to daily on Facebook and Twitter.