Why Pirates Make the Worst
Best Book Boyfriends
By Shana Galen
1) Clothing
If you’re snuggling with a duke, chances are he’s wearing a
tail coat and tight breeches. Those ex-military types usually wear combat
trousers and go commando, and vampires wear…capes? But a pirate? Imagine him in scuffed, black
leather boots all the way to his knees. Those boots thump with authority as he
walks the decks and hug his shapely calves until the leather ends, revealing
muscled thighs encased in tight buckskin. A billowing white shirt, open at the
chest, is plastered by the wind to his sculpted chest, the whiteness unbroken
only by the handle of the cutlass tucked in one side of his belt and the silver
inlaid handle of the pistol on the other. His hair is longer than acceptable
and carelessly held back by a leather cord. His skin is burnished by sun and
wind, and his eyes are the color of a stormy sea. Choose a pirate as a book
boyfriend, and you won’t be getting any sleep.
2) Setting
And let’s consider where pirates reside. Cramped ships’
quarters where a girl would constantly be forced to brush against that pirate’s
hard body. He might even confine his woman to his opulent captain’s cabin,
which is, of course, appointed with silk sheets, a full library, and an
abundance of hot water for long, luxurious baths. If that isn’t bad enough,
pirate ships make frequent stops at tropical islands with white sandy beaches,
coconuts and rum, and clear pools with waterfalls where pirates might attempt
to take advantage of the lack of chaperone. How will you sleep with the sound
of waves crashing on the beach, the sweet tropical breeze caressing your skin,
and the twinkling stars overhead?
3) Shipboard Life
Let’s chat more about those stars. Chances are if you look
out your window at night, you’ll see half a dozen stars. Some of those might be
satellites, but who can tell, right? The city lights block out most of the
stars, but that isn’t the case in the middle of the ocean on a pirate ship. If
you’re looking to get a good eight hours of sleep, don’t choose a pirate. He’s
likely to drag the heroine onto the deck (or the crow’s nest) and make love
under that canopy of twinkling stars all night long. Beautiful? Romantic? Yes. Good for sleep? No.
4) Attitude
Dukes have a duty to the title. Navy SEALS have their honor.
Vampires have their lust for blood. But pirates? Pirates are the wayward black
sheep of the hero family. They don’t answer to anyone. Pirates are fiercely
independent. They don’t follow rules or laws, except their own. There’s one way
to do things: the pirate way. And if his woman doesn’t like it, the captain
might just confine her to those luxurious quarters again. And have his way with
her. Shudder. There’s no chance of sleep with a pirate book boyfriend.
5) Treasure
The worst thing about pirates is how they’re relentlessly
searching for something—revenge, gold doubloons, sparkling jewels… Pirates are
always on the hunt for booty. They have maps where X marks the spot and chests
full of enough riches that a girl could drape herself in rubies and pearls. A
pirate is a dangerous book boyfriend.
If you’re still not convinced that you should stay away from
pirates as book boyfriends, might I suggest a pirate hero who’s likely to show
you just how good—I mean, bad—can be? Nick Martingale is the captain of the Robin Hood. Not only is he a pirate
captain, he’s the younger brother of a marquess, which makes him Lord Nicholas.
Titled and a pirate? Lethal combination. He’s also incredibly sexy, rich, and
might just be hiding a sweet nature under that charming, roguish exterior.
Feeling a little daring? Want to give Nick a try as your book boyfriend? One person who tells me their favorite
pirate in literature or film will win a print copy of The
Pirate Takes a Bride (U.S. and Canada only).
The Pirate Takes a Bride
Ashley Brittany is living a
nightmare. She's been mistakenly married to the one man she despises. Months ago,
Lord Nicholas took her virtue then scorned her. Now, Ashley will do anything to
have her revenge . . . anything but expose her ugly secret. Nick Martingale has a secret, too: he's Captain Robin Hood, a pirate with a fearsome reputation. But when Nick learns his archenemy, the Barbary pirate Yussef, attacked innocents Nick has sworn to protect, he can think of nothing but vengeance.
Only one person stands in his way.
His wife.
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Google Play | iTunes | Kobo
Shana Galen is the bestselling author
of fast-paced adventurous Regency historicals, including the RT Reviewers'
Choice The
Making of a Gentleman.
Booklist says, "Galen expertly entwines espionage-flavored intrigue
with sizzling passion," and RT Bookreviews calls her "a grand
mistress of the action/adventure subgenre." She taught English at the
middle and high school level off and on for eleven years. Most of those years
were spent working in Houston's inner city. Now she writes full time. She's
happily married and has a daughter who is most definitely a romance heroine in
the making. Shana loves to hear from readers, so send her an email or see what she's up to daily on Facebook and Twitter.
